em-fields replied to your post: Please make dinner soon so I can come over and eat for days. :)

Yeah totally, I can’t cook so I won’t be much help. Whoa, wait what? That house has too many good memories.

You can’t cook?! Well well well, Em, I’ll just have to teach you how to make a thing or two, yeah? I know, I’ll miss this house and living with Sammy a whole hell of a lot, but since we’re both moving, my dad’s going to put it on the market. The saddest thing.

itsasituasianmike replied to your post: Please make dinner soon so I can come over and eat for days. :)

I’m coming over on that day. Just letting you know.

I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, Asian Sensation. You’re more than welcome.

em-fields said: Please make dinner soon so I can come over and eat for days. :)

Sure, Em. I guess I should have one last huge meal in this kitchen before my dad sells the place.

sammyiam:

Shit, I swear something just moved outside the window…

Don’t! Fuck you.

(Source: satanhoepez)

sammyiam:

… What is wrong with you?

I’ve had to deal with you all this time. And don’t think I was joking about the Stanley thing.

(Source: satanhoepez)

sammyiam:

I’m gonna recreate Insidious outside your bedroom window.

I’ve hired a bunch of midgets to recreate The Human Centipede inside your bed.

(Source: satanhoepez)

sammyiam:

I’m gonna pee on all your pillows.

I already put Nair in your shampoo.

(Source: satanhoepez)

sammyiam replied to your post: Sam cheats.

Suck it, fuckface.

I’m gonna burn Stanley in your sleep.

Sam cheats.  

It’s a proven fact. “Qu” isn’t a word. And “myshit” isn’t all one word. Take that shit somewhere else.

(Source: fuckyeahsantana)

sammyiam said: Text: I'll be just a phone call away, you know that. And I promise I'll visit a bunch. You won't be able to get rid of me with all that damn good New York pizza around! I'll still be your brother and I always will be. We'll just have to operate in different states is all. And yeah. I'm walking a plant. Got a problem with that?

text - But it’s not the same. Rachel won’t pig out on ice cream with me like you will. And she likes that vegan shit. SAMMYYYYYUHHH. Yeah, I have a problem with it, you’re a fucking weirdo.